A New Year, A New You!

Hey, besties! Long time no post. Truth time: I have not been as consistent with posting as I planned before beginning this law school journey. Maybe you can relate? Was there something you planned to do this year and totally dropped the ball? Luckily for me and you, we can always make a fresh start, and not just because a new year is approaching. You can choose any day as your new year. We have the agency to make any day a new start, a new change. It took me a long time to figure this out and to decide to actually get in the driver’s seat of my life instead of sitting in the backseat allowing sadness and depression to linger much too long.

This year, I found myself more excited for New Year’s Day than any other holiday. I was craving a reason to change. To be frank, all I could think about was closing the chapter of 2021. All I could think about were the overwhelmingly negative experiences of 2021—graduating from college and saying goodbye to my friends, living through another lost year of my 20s due to the pandemic, the constant loneliness of singleness, and the deeply disappointing realization that law school was nothing like I thought it would be. With this mindset, I couldn’t find any value in 2021.

As I was driving to my parents’ house for Christmas, I felt numb. Law school finals were brutal and I wasn’t excited for the Christmas holiday. I felt apathetic about, well honestly, EVERYTHING. Even while driving, I heard cars racing past me and saw the green of the trees around me, but I felt like I wasn’t in my body. The first night of staying at my parents’ house, I sobbed silently in the dark kitchen over a piece of lemon pound cake. Clearly, I was not doing so well. After wiping my tears and finishing my cake, I returned to my room, feeling upset that I felt this worthless at such a young age. I am twenty-two and I was already feeling like I was trapped in my own life.

I don’t know what switched in me, but I promised myself that I would not take this mindset into 2022. I knew deep down that the lifestyle I was maintaining wasn’t sustainable. I would no longer be able to survive, operating on the same self-destructive mindset. And to be honest, I was exhausted with simply surviving. I wanted to thrive. In order to walk into the next chapter, I had to acknowledge that 2021 wasn’t as much of a bust as I thought. I personally don’t believe you can grow from something until you reflect on what you did well and what you can do better next time. The changes I wanted to make came easily to me, but I had a harder time acknowledging what I did well. After reflecting, I realized that I had grown so much emotionally through therapy, been faced with enormous academic challenges and risen to the occasion, closed the door on potential relationships that I felt would cause me pain, adopted a feline friend, and made a comfortable home for the first time in my adult life. Those were things worth celebrating! I had overcome major challenges with grace and class. Go me!

After acknowledging my accomplishments, I sat down and created a vision board (styled as a desktop wallpaper, so I could always see it) with everything I wanted for my life this upcoming year. I had a total attitude adjustment as well. As I placed photos of the life I wanted on my vision board, I felt deep down that God would follow through on them. I showed my little sister the board, which includes a picture of laughing women. She asked, “Are those your friends?” I smiled and said, “No, but they will be.” And I believe it. I know that the Lord will bring me the friendships I desire in my life.

Lastly, while reading “Hill House Living” by Paula Sutton, I read a section on creating the life you want. (It’s a great book, by the way!) In her book, Auntie Paula describes how every year she chooses a word to guide her. She mentioned one year, she chose the word “yes” and that word guided all of her decisions and experiences for the year. I was so inspired by that and decided to choose a word for my year as well. When thinking on it, I remembered saying aloud to my family that I was tired of just surviving and that I was ready to thrive. So for 2022, my word is THRIVE. I can’t wait to see how this word guides my year.

I’m sharing all of this mostly because I’m a self-proclaimed oversharer (lol), but also because I want anyone who had a horrible year to know that a new day is here. Right now and any time you choose, you can make the choice to change your life, change your mindset, or change yourself. The only thing standing in the way is you. I don’t know about you, but I am absolutely over feeling worthless, lonely, and hopeless. We don’t have to let these feelings consume us. We can choose better. You can see my vision board at the top of the page. I hope it inspires you and that you create your own. If you do, tag me on social media, so I can see!

To finish off, I want to sincerely thank everyone who reads this blog. I haven’t always been right or consistent. I am growing and changing every day just like every one of you, but I thank you for taking this ride with me. I hope you have a lovely holiday season and that you feel peace knowing that change is here, right at this moment.

God bless you all. xoxo, Fearless Dom

fearless chronicles: take control of your social media

The other day I was hanging with a friend and their partner. We were discussing Tiktok and the type of content that pops up on our respective feeds. My friend’s partner commented that they wished they could see the type of content we see and sort of threw up their hands as if Tiktok had condemned them to the unfunny side of the app.

fearless chronicles: is therapy all it's cracked up to be?

As a self-proclaimed fearless woman, I thought for 2023, I could talk about the tools that have helped me become a better, more self-aware person. I should preface that I am not a perfect person and I do not strive to be. To me, becoming “THAT GIRL” as Tiktok likes to call any self-assured woman, is about finding peace in solitude, practicing mental and physical wellness, and building healthy relationships with others. It is not about reaching perfection or becoming someone without basic human emotions.

If You Have to Beg, It's Not For You

So, the other day I had a major breakthrough in therapy. I discovered that for most of my life, I have felt the intense need to prove myself to everyone around me. The more distant and disapproving someone was, the more I felt the need to win them over. So much so that I felt annoyed with people who loved me for me, no strings attached.

10 Shows/Movies That Ooze Summer

It’s summer, and it’s time to take that after-pool day shower (a top-tier human experience) and sit down to watch a binegable show. It can be hard to find shows that capture the season, but look no further because I have compiled a list of ten shows that express June-August perfectly!

Girl, Get Out of That Small Town

Just a few days ago, I finished my first year of law school. It took 15 hours of testing and many research and writing assignments to close the door on the first chapter of my legal career. I was and still am pretty wiped out. No one tells you how strange you will feel after finally achieving something you never thought would end, but yeah— it’s really weird. After your adrenaline has been pumping for two weeks straight, you feel a crash. There’s a moment when you realize that the academic validation didn’t feel as good as you imagined it would.

A New Year, A New You!

Life Update: Law School & ✨Adulthood ✨

Woah girlies it’s been more than a minute since we last spoke. I can’t believe it’s already October aka Spooky Season! Law school has a way of making time seem slow when you want to speed up and fast when you want to slow down. And the only reason I’m able to write this post is that I’m on fall break, and I knew I had to squeeze some time in to update you all on life as it is now.

Why Self-Love Seems Rebellious

I’ve watched Olympic gymnastics for as long as I can remember. I was named after Olympic gold medalist, Dominique Dawes. I bought books and watched documentaries about Gabby Douglas leading up to and after the 2012 Summer Olympics, hoping to understand more about the petite, but powerful young woman. And slightly related, I was obsessed with the ABC Family show, Make It or Break It, a tv drama about young gymnasts trying to accomplish their Olympic dreams. I say all this to say that when it’s time to watch the U.S. Olympic Gymnastics Team, I am all in.

When Being the Main Character Goes Wrong

Just a couple of scrolls through Instagram, Tiktok, or really any social media platform, you will run into a message about taking charge of your life and “being the main character”. This “main character” message has become so prevalent that just the other day, I saw back-to-back videos encouraging me to “stop being a side character in my own life”. At its core, there is a wholesome message of self love, but it's important not to warp the message into self-centeredness.

6 Ways to Incorporate Sustainability Into Your Summer

My sustainability journey really began in January 2020. I was watching a BestDressed YouTube video when she explained why she thrifts much of her clothing. It intrigued me that a majority of her fabulous collection was secondhand. I couldn’t believe that you could be so fashionable and environmentally ethical. This shock led me to research just how much of an impact fast fashion has on the environment. And I made the decision to only thrift my clothes for a whole year.

Choosing People Who Choose You

I swear I’m not trying to flex when I say this, but my heart is a little too big. By that I mean, it’s too open and available. All it takes is one positive interaction for me to care about someone and to invest in their feelings towards me. The problem with keeping a “For Rent” sign on your heart is that you remain in a constant state of instability and unease.

10 Books You Should Read This Spring

Spring, to me, is opening up a novel while sitting on a crisp picnic blanket in the park. It’s being one with nature and focusing on the worlds and characters that lie within the pages in a book rather than a black screen. If this is spring for you, we’re soul sisters! You may be thinking, “But Dom, I don’t have any books to read!” To that I say, have no fear, below I have provided you with ten novels you need to read this spring. Break out the picnic blanket, snacks, and one of these books! Spring has sprung!

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