A Case of the School Blues

Just a few days ago, I finished my first year of law school. It took 15 hours of testing and many research and writing assignments to close the door on the first chapter of my legal career. I was and still am pretty wiped out. No one tells you how strange you will feel after finally achieving something you never thought would end, but yeah— it’s really weird. After your adrenaline has been pumping for two weeks straight, you feel a crash. There’s a moment when you realize that the academic validation didn’t feel as good as you imagined it would.

A couple of days after finals, I called my wise little brother/best friend. I told him I was super exhausted and just feeling overall low in spirits. I dramatically sighed and said, “I’m just waiting for the day I feel happy.” My brother was quiet for a second and then he asked, “Don’t you think it’s up to you to make that happen for yourself?” Immediately, I realized that perhaps I had been hoping the accomplishment of finishing my first year of law school would fill a hole that could only be filled by me.

Truth be told, I haven’t given myself much grace this academic year and I’ve cared way more about the opinions of others than I should have. Being in a claustrophobic environment makes you desire the approval of people you would barely acknowledge in a larger environment. It makes you believe you have to conform or minimize yourself to fit within the confines of space never meant to hold you. And it makes you desperate for friendships and relationships that never served you. You can truly get tunnel vision, and it’s difficult to imagine life outside of your current situation. It is extremely exhausting to always look outward instead of inward.

Thinking on it, I remembered not always feeling this way. Just a few years back (mostly pre-pandemic), life was exciting, the world was my oyster, and the possibilities for connection were endless. Having finally recognized that all of my feelings of sadness, paranoia, and angst were products of my environment, I breathed a sigh of relief. This was NOT me. This was small-town, law school, temporary me.

Sometimes, it’s not even about the population of the town or its square mileage. Sometimes it’s just the mindset that particular environment puts you in. I’m sure people have felt limited, lonely, and ignored in large, crowded cities like New York or Washington, DC. It’s not about the size. It’s more about the limitations the environment puts on you.

So Dom, What's Next?

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So Dom, What's Next? 〰️

So how do you get out of a mental small town? Do as my brother suggested—create happiness for yourself! This summer has become the perfect opportunity for me to not only physically get out of a small town, but also mentally. I have already planned and brainstormed interesting and fun experiences peppered all throughout my summer. And for anyone with small-town syndrome I recommend the same. Make plans with friends you haven’t seen in a while, try the restaurant you’ve always wanted to, travel to new places, or attempt something you’ve always been too afraid to do. Part of overcoming the feeling of small town-ness is making every little adventure feel big.

I have decided that this summer will be my chance to reset and remember who I am. I need to get emotional and mental rest as I will eventually have to return to this environment. Eventually, I would like to get to a point where my environment—big or small—has little to no impact on how I see myself. Keeping in mind my 2022 resolution word: THRIVE, I know that this break will be exactly what the doctor ordered. I’m excited for you to come along with me, hopefully inspiring you to go on your own thrive journey.

fearless chronicles: take control of your social media

The other day I was hanging with a friend and their partner. We were discussing Tiktok and the type of content that pops up on our respective feeds. My friend’s partner commented that they wished they could see the type of content we see and sort of threw up their hands as if Tiktok had condemned them to the unfunny side of the app.

fearless chronicles: is therapy all it's cracked up to be?

As a self-proclaimed fearless woman, I thought for 2023, I could talk about the tools that have helped me become a better, more self-aware person. I should preface that I am not a perfect person and I do not strive to be. To me, becoming “THAT GIRL” as Tiktok likes to call any self-assured woman, is about finding peace in solitude, practicing mental and physical wellness, and building healthy relationships with others. It is not about reaching perfection or becoming someone without basic human emotions.

If You Have to Beg, It's Not For You

So, the other day I had a major breakthrough in therapy. I discovered that for most of my life, I have felt the intense need to prove myself to everyone around me. The more distant and disapproving someone was, the more I felt the need to win them over. So much so that I felt annoyed with people who loved me for me, no strings attached.

10 Shows/Movies That Ooze Summer

It’s summer, and it’s time to take that after-pool day shower (a top-tier human experience) and sit down to watch a binegable show. It can be hard to find shows that capture the season, but look no further because I have compiled a list of ten shows that express June-August perfectly!

Girl, Get Out of That Small Town

A New Year, A New You!

Hey, besties! Long time no post. Truth time: I have not been as consistent with posting as I planned before beginning this law school journey. Maybe you can relate? Was there something you planned to do this year and totally dropped the ball? Luckily for me and you, we can always make a fresh start, and not just because a new year is approaching. You can choose any day as your new year.

Life Update: Law School & ✨Adulthood ✨

Woah girlies it’s been more than a minute since we last spoke. I can’t believe it’s already October aka Spooky Season! Law school has a way of making time seem slow when you want to speed up and fast when you want to slow down. And the only reason I’m able to write this post is that I’m on fall break, and I knew I had to squeeze some time in to update you all on life as it is now.

Why Self-Love Seems Rebellious

I’ve watched Olympic gymnastics for as long as I can remember. I was named after Olympic gold medalist, Dominique Dawes. I bought books and watched documentaries about Gabby Douglas leading up to and after the 2012 Summer Olympics, hoping to understand more about the petite, but powerful young woman. And slightly related, I was obsessed with the ABC Family show, Make It or Break It, a tv drama about young gymnasts trying to accomplish their Olympic dreams. I say all this to say that when it’s time to watch the U.S. Olympic Gymnastics Team, I am all in.

When Being the Main Character Goes Wrong

Just a couple of scrolls through Instagram, Tiktok, or really any social media platform, you will run into a message about taking charge of your life and “being the main character”. This “main character” message has become so prevalent that just the other day, I saw back-to-back videos encouraging me to “stop being a side character in my own life”. At its core, there is a wholesome message of self love, but it's important not to warp the message into self-centeredness.

6 Ways to Incorporate Sustainability Into Your Summer

My sustainability journey really began in January 2020. I was watching a BestDressed YouTube video when she explained why she thrifts much of her clothing. It intrigued me that a majority of her fabulous collection was secondhand. I couldn’t believe that you could be so fashionable and environmentally ethical. This shock led me to research just how much of an impact fast fashion has on the environment. And I made the decision to only thrift my clothes for a whole year.

Choosing People Who Choose You

I swear I’m not trying to flex when I say this, but my heart is a little too big. By that I mean, it’s too open and available. All it takes is one positive interaction for me to care about someone and to invest in their feelings towards me. The problem with keeping a “For Rent” sign on your heart is that you remain in a constant state of instability and unease.

10 Books You Should Read This Spring

Spring, to me, is opening up a novel while sitting on a crisp picnic blanket in the park. It’s being one with nature and focusing on the worlds and characters that lie within the pages in a book rather than a black screen. If this is spring for you, we’re soul sisters! You may be thinking, “But Dom, I don’t have any books to read!” To that I say, have no fear, below I have provided you with ten novels you need to read this spring. Break out the picnic blanket, snacks, and one of these books! Spring has sprung!